Found in Translation 3: Pronunciation while rubing the bank

The pronunciation of the Us, Os, As, and their combinations is of great challenge to non native English speakers. Sun/son, uncle/ankle, man/men, drunk/drank, gem/jam, and countless others, make us sweat heavily when trying to express something related. Yeah, we are great sweaters at times...

We left the restaurant’s parking lot at dark and I pulled into a closed business' drive-thru for a U-turn. “Are you going to put gas?” my wife asked. “Mom, this is a bank. They don’t have gas here.” “Oh,” she was in good mood, “are we going to rub the bank, then?” She wanted to say rob, and that’s what she actually said, but she pronounced it as rub.

At this point, my son and I brought forth the best of our foreign accent (with some wannabe Indian scent) in the following mix of dialogues:

“Sir, I’m here to rub your bank” “Oh, please, help yourself.” “I’m serious, sir. This is a rubbery.” “Really? Do you have a rubber?” “Yes, here is my rubber gun.” “Oh, it looks real; very good gum.” “Sir, this is a real rubber gun, and I’m going to rub you.” “Oh, that is so nice of you. Could you please rub me under my left shoulder?”

and

“I’m the famous Jack the Rubber. Kindly give me all of your dirty money!” “Why? Are you going to rub them, ha-ha-ha?” “Don’t laugh sir! I did rubberies for the last 20 (pronounced tventy) years.” “OK, rub this for me, and keep the rubbish for you.”

and

“Everybody, don’t move. I’m here to rub you. I’m a serial rubber, and very dangerous.” “Oh, poor creature, you must be hungry, if you fell like rubbing cereal.”